Get The F&^% Over Yourself!

That was how last week started for me.  Seriously Marianne Williamson said that to ME!  Well, she didn’t drop the F Bomb… I added that 😉  But for real.  “What are you waiting for, you have an amazing gift, talent, you were born to do it; you know what needs to happen and what’s next and you can resist it or you can get on with it.  Get over yourself, get out of your own way and go change the world”.

WHAT?  Get over myself?  I’m no one special?  Wait, What?  My ego wants to lash out and say “F&^% you, what do you know, you don’t know anything about me or about my life and it’s easy FOR YOU”.  But I didn’t.  Because my soul knew she was right.  My ego wanted to fight back, to make excuses for why I wasn’t doing it, why I keep “dreaming” of things I would do if… how I would change the world, if… how I could impact people and change people’s lives, if… the “if’s” and “shoulds” hold us back from doing what we were born to do and for me, it was the start of a week of AHA moments and the universe lining up in epic ways to propel me forward.

See I’m a control freak.

I know.  I’m just as shocked as you are. HAHA.  For real though.  My coach told me often that I had “control” issues, but I didn’t really see it.  My definition of “control” was controlling other people, situations, etc.  I’m not like that.  I just control myself {ya think I might have found the source of those eating disorders?}.  I control my projects, my business, my exercise, my food, my life in a way that ensures that I am in charge and no one else.  I will not do a project that requires me to be a team player.  That’s the truth of my “control” issues.  It’s not the pretty side of my personality, but it’s the ego side, the side that holds me back, keeps me playing small and keeping control.  This is why I have had 2 eating disorders for most of my life.  Control is something I am good at.  So I didn’t see it.  It was in my blind spot.  I couldn’t see it and until I did, I couldn’t transform it.

It all started Friday.  Well, really it’s been months, years in the making.  But I was too afraid to take the steps.  I’ve dreamed of all of the projects I would work on but I believed I couldn’t.  I wasn’t capable.  I wasn’t smart enough.  Thin enough.  Pretty enough.  Not enough was the theme.  I had an “aha” moment on Friday after my run that led me to some profound realizations.  Within days, things and people started showing up, supporting me, encouraging me – some gently and some downright bossy!

So when Marianne Williamson told me to get over myself it opened my eyes in a new way.  “You’re not special.  This isn’t about you.  You’re a vehicle for creating massive and profound change, just get on with it for God’ Sake”.  How true.  How often do we “wish” things were different?  How often do we “complain” about our circumstances?  How often do we say “when I get this done I will do that…?”  Constantly.  We stay small and play small in life because it serves us.  We feel the fear and don’t take the steps.  Because we’re afraid of failing.  Because we’re afraid we’re not smart enough, brave enough, won’t have enough money, and the list is endless.

So I took it in.  And day after day for 5 days straight the universe sent people to me, quite literally – random phone calls, encounters with strangers, emails for business things, coaches, even spiritual leaders – sought me out to tell me that I was on the right path.  I argued my “point” about why “I can’t” and in the end all of the arguments were invalid because this is what I was born to do.  And when you know it, you know it in your soul.  You know you’re arguing your destiny and the arguments sound hallow, pointless and stupid.  Because when it’s something you’re so passionate about, no argument for why not can stand up against the one reason “why”.

So I am getting the fuck over myself.  I am getting out of my own way.  I am putting my fears aside – for all of the reasons it won’t work and focusing on the one reason it will work.  I am putting aside my fears of making a mistake and going for it.  I am putting aside the fear of not being good enough and doing it anyway.  I am putting aside the fear to do something that I am wildly passionate about – transforming the health of Newfoundland, Canada and the world.  Because the truth really is… I am amazing at what I do.  I inspire, motivate and transform people every fucking day.  Over 12 years, I have learned a thing or two about human behaviour, about fitness, weight loss, what drives people, what makes people successful and what makes people quit, fail.  I know a thing or two about what REALLY causes weight gain, weight loss and weight gain again.  I know about addictions, trauma, depression, anxiety, unhappiness and the search for happiness in a pant size or a number on the scale.  And I know these things aren’t the answer.  

The truth is, I am the best person to do this, because of my own personal experiences in life, my own battle with body image and coaching so many people through weight loss.  I have a unique experience in this life that does and will continue to inspire people globally to change the way we think about weight and weight loss and the obesity epidemic.

I am getting the fuck over myself.  I am getting out of my own way.

And I suggest YOU do the same.  Because the cold hard truth is the only person holding you back is you. Whether its your weight, fitness, healthy eating, workouts, getting a new job, not enough money, blah blah blah fucking blah.  No one can do it for you. If you want something, you’ve got to be willing to put aside your bullshit stories and excuses about why you can’t –  no matter how many times you’ve failed, no matter how much emotional baggage and letting go you have to do, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much you “don’t wanna”… make the commitment to yourself to take care of yourself first – that starts with feeding your body good healthy food and moving your body… no bullshit, no blaming the weather, your husband, your kids, the government.  Just get the fuck up and do it, because you said you would.  Every. Single. Fucking. Day.  Get over yourself and get on with it.

Do it.  Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Mad Love,

Tonya

PS… actually, I can 😉