What In The Actual F&^%

A few months ago I stopped swearing so much.  I understood that sometimes I use it as a way to create walls and separation between me and others.  But sometimes it’s for emphasis and when I use it like a sailor it loses some of it’s mother fucking impact.  Tonight though, this article, might have a few more f bombs than normal.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still like a good F-bomb but they’re a little more strategic and less loosey goosey off the tongue now… but I’m feeling a little riled up about this topic…

I was/ am a personal trainer, nutritionist, yoga exercise specialist…I cannot even tell you the amount of certificates and courses I’ve taken in 12 years.  I cannot.  I’d have to go through a long file and detail every one of them.  I am well trained in fitness and nutrition and mindset strategy, let’s just say.  I used to coach in the gym.  I loved it.  I loved helping people reach their goals.  I loved what I did.  But every other day someone was asking me about green coffee beans, lap band, juice diets, shake diets, vibration machines, protein diets, cabbage soup diet, tea diets, grapefruit diet, banana diet, Jillian Michaels, Tae Bo, cross fit, P90X, zumba, shake weights, body wraps, hypnosis, macro’s….


It actually led to me quit the fitness industry as a Personal Trainer and move to a different area – Fitness Mindset Strategy.  Why?  Because I got sick of the bullshit in the “fitness industry”.  It’s actually more the “diet” industry because the fitness industry actually teaches people life style changes… the diet industry hangs off it’s coattails.  96% of people who join a program, fail.  I wanted to change that when I got into the industry.  I had learned something that changed my life and I wanted to help people change their lives too.  So I became a personal trainer.  And I loved it.  I still love it!  But, I got tired of watching people gain and lose and cycle…. switch from gym to gym to gym, program to program to program… people were willing to shell out thousands of dollars for programs that promised quick and easy results…they don’t last though… you know it but you’re desperate and they are selling you a pipe dream and you’re hoping against all hope that THIS time will be different.

You’ll use it as a kick start.  Just for a few months and then you’ll “balance it out” and keep the weight off on your own.  How has that ever worked out for you in the past?  The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and over and expecting different results.  STOP.  JUST FUCKING STOP.  Listen to me… if you listen to nothing else ever again… listen to me now… if you lose the weight “dieting down” on a cocktail of pills and potions and powders how in the name of god do you expect to keep it off when you increase your calories and food groups?  You won’t.  And it will come on FAST and you’ll be desperate for a while, pretending it’s not happening… until you can’t deny it anymore and then you give up… again.  Until the next product hits the market and you repeat the same cycle, over and over and over again.

I coach people to set them selves up on a schedule that is realistic to maintain LONG TERM.  Hitting the gym 6x a week for 2 hours is a GREAT way to get quick results, injuries, overwhelmed, stressed out… eventually you need to “go back to your life”, then you can’t maintain the results because you’re doing LESS than how you lost it and it won’t stay off… so you get frustrated and QUIT, again.  I get my clients to do in the beginning what they can commit to long term.  Ie… 3-4X a week for 1.5 hours… sure it might take them a year to lose 30lbs, but guess what?  In 12 months they’ve lost 30lbs and kept it off while the chronic fad dieter has lost and regained it 4x.

This might be harsh.  I realize that.  But it’s because I care and I’m tired of seeing people THROW their money away on products that won’t work and most of these people selling this crap have NO certification in health, fitness, or nutrition.  1/2 of what’s on the market hasn’t been throughly screen by the proper health departments.  Stick a label on it and sell it as a weight loss diet and people are throwing money at you faster than you can claw it in.  I’m tired of seeing people being sold outright lies by untrained people.  I’m tired of the perpetuation of the cycle of dieting that causes depression, anxiety, self hate and failure.  There’s only so much people can take.  And it’s all masked in being healthy.

But let’s get something straight right now.  It’s not about health.  It’s about looks.  I want to look good good too… I want to rock that skimpy black dress and walk the beach in a bikini.  I won’t apologize for that.  But I won’t do it as a cost of my health… because I did that for years and my body is still suffering the effects of starvation, bulimic episodes… my teeth never recovered, bone and joint pain my entire life because of nutrient deficiency, absorption issues with my stomach and lining of my stomach – ulcers, constipation… the ONLY thing that helped me is eating healthy and clean.  I took all the pills available. I bought every diet that could be sold.  I failed them all and I screwed my metabolism up badly.  It took years of recovery and thousand and thousands of dollars working with the right professionals to feel better and get my health back and I have come to terms with the fact that I hurt my body in ways that it will not recover from – food allergies, reflux issues.  I’m so grateful it’s only a few but I realize if I was still on that path it would be much much worse.  But I have no idea the effects those pills and potions and powders that I lived on for so many years had on my body, my organs, my health and my life.

I can’t help but wonder if I’ll have side effects from those quick fix promises that only perpetuated my feelings of inadequacy, not being good enough if I didn’t look a certain way, setting me up for failure to keep me as a repeat client… at the end of the day those companies care about bottom line not about your health.  And I wonder are you prepared for the potential health complications?  The side effects that we don’t know about yet?  The liver, kidney damage?  The metabolic failure?  The CNS complications?  The depression and anxiety that results from altering our moods with some of these supplements?  I remember one day I was “hopped” on a supplement I bought -it promised 16x faster weight loss.  I hit the gym and I was wired!  No wonder I’d lose weight… I was like a machine.  And I was never hungry.  I passed out in the change room.  Then I crashed so badly from the energy crash that I had to pull my car over, I couldn’t drive.  Another time I was shaking so badly I almost went to the ER.  It was after that I stopped taking anything.  I was scared and my moods were crazy – high high’s and low low’s.

The thing is… if you eat healthy and exercise consistently (let’s go for 80%) you’ll look and feel completely different in one year and still have the flexibility to “live a little” as they say.  But the “diet” industry is a multi billion industry and the bulk of people actually selling this stuff have no idea what they are doing or selling.  And they are selling based on emotion and desperation and you’re buying because you want to be good enough, to make it work, this time. And it’s done in the name of health, but it’s not about health…. our “health” has became about aesthetics. Stop confusing the two.

Today I heard about a new “fad diet” that strictly prohibits exercise.  And I said What In the Actual Fuck about 500 times.  Honestly… what would possess anyone to want to burn up their muscle?  What would possess anyone to take that kind of risk with their health?  How many times will we have to repeat these cycles before we exit the crazy train?  Your weight is a manifestation of the problems you are not dealing with… it’s not the problem.  If you want to get out of the crazy 8 then you need to deal with the issues behind the weight… that will help you permanently keep it off.  That’s why I quit the fitness industry and focused on strategy.  I work with women and men who hate themselves because they can’t maintain a certain look.  I work with people who have been stripped of their self confidence and self esteem by the “diet” industry.  It’s heart breaking to hear them speak of themselves “I’m a failure. I’m so fat and so gross.  Why can’t I get it together.  Why can’t I stop eating.  I’ve done everything and I’ve failed it all… there’s something wrong with me“.

No sweetie, there’s something wrong with the world that is selling you a fake promise for a premium price that you can’t possibly maintain.  You’re not the problem… the industry is. But it’s time for you to take responsibility for your life… they wouldn’t be able to sell it if you didn’t buy it.  

Let’s be clear – there’s a difference in health and aesthetics.  Just because someone loses weight it doesn’t make them healthy.  And just because someone has weight on, it doesn’t make them unhealthy.


PS… just stop.  Exercise 45-60 minutes a day and eat 3 sensible meals and 2-3 snacks a day, do it consistently and you will change your life forever.  Spend your money with trained dieticians, trained nutritionists, trained weight loss experts, trained fitness professionals.  Invest in learning the “healthy” way.  Now if it’s only about aesthetics, then by all means… carry on…



One thought on “What In The Actual F&^%

  1. Doris Ward says:

    AMAZING post Tonya! Thank you for this! Love your honesty and wisdom. Thank you for sharing such personal stories with us to help us improve 🙂 I can really relate from both a personal and professional pov 🙂

    Doris Ward ALERT! Out of Office Dates-April 15-26, May 16-23 2016Certified Personal Fitness Trainer since 2003Certified STOTT Pilates InstructorBOSU Certified TrainerSchwinn Certified Cycling InstructorFirst Aid and CPR-renewed annually All emails will be responded to within 24 business hours.Cancellation policy: provide 24 hours notice by email otherwise a session fee is charged to your account. (poor weather conditions require 6 or more hours notice) http://www.nfpei.ca/ Offering Personal Training services exclusively at Naturally Fit PEITwitter @FitnessEMPOWERSPinterest-Doris Ward-Personal Fitness TrainerBlog http://www.fortheloveoffitness.blog.com Personal Training: empowering you to become the BEST version of you! Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2016 00:44:22 +0000 To: fortheloveoffitness@hotmail.com


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