Unbinding Your Wild Soul

We get it wrong. All wrong. Somewhere along the way through the conditioning, the stickers for getting 100, the affirmations for being perfect, the being shamed into submission, the being shusshed when you speak up, say too much. The pain you feel from believing, from living, too open, too trusting.

Not knowing the darkness that exists in the world, in others, when you’re just not that way. The people who bully, berate, push you down. Yet, you still open, smile, forgive and be kind.

Too many fairy tales, too much niceness, too much conditioning, too much pleasing, too much believing that if you do this, that, bend into a pretzel, clean up the mess, take the pain away that somehow it will be enough.

When you feel too much they don’t tell you to know when to walk away, instead they condition you to get in the water with the drowning person, somehow as if endangering yourself and allowing them to drown you, too, would make it better.

When you shine too brightly and they say you shouldn’t because it makes someone else feel bad, or you look conceited, when you were just happy. When you invited them into your home, wanted to make to friends, happy to know people, to let them in, but when you weren’t looking they poisoned your tea, your thoughts, your life.

When he treats you badly it’s because he likes you, so you always think, like the movies, he’ll come around, if you bend and change and stay while he treats you like a doormat.

Your light still shining through you, a threat to those who live in darkness. But no one taught you about them. No one told you to protect yourself, they simply said, move aside, let them away with, don’t get involve, don’t rock the boat, look away… as if it would somehow make it easier.

But when you swallow your truth in the moment, you swallow your brightness, your soul, your knowing, your power. When you silence yourself to keep the peace you start a war inside of you.

And soon the waters within rage, bubbling to the surface as you can no longer contain the overflow of bad choices, silence, dulling and shrinking because someone else said you should.

As you open the box and purge the contents, every moment, every impact, every stored feeling and thought and word slicing like a million knives in a million places, gasping for air as you release, praying it will be over, that one day the storm will end and you will be ok.

Because you don’t know. In the midst of the storm, you just don’t know if the waters will rage forever, losing yourself in the storm or if it will clear and you will walk out, battered, but wild. Cut but a warrior.

You will.

I promise you. The unbinding, the unchaining the uncaging of your wild soul doesn’t come to those who can’t handle it or those who want the easy solution. It comes to the ones who are fed up, done, ready for more, who were born for a bigger game.

As you unbind your wild soul from the confines of pleasing, permission, validation you will stop giving a fuck about what they say you can be, what they think you are. As you unbind yourself from the experiences that make you shrink into yourself, you will remember the parts of you that you lost.

As you unchain yourself from the past, unpack your luggage and emotional baggage you’ll realize half of what you’re carrying isn’t yours but someone else’s who put it on you, and you took it, thinking you had to carry it because you could or you thought you had to.

As you unpack the box that you stored everything in, everything painful, everything hard, everything truthful, everything real, you unpack the layers that are not you, the masks that you’ve worn, the walls you’ve hidden behind and you reclaim the lost part of you.

As you stop pretending, stop pleasing, stop making nice, stop laying down, stop rolling over, you’ll piss them off. As you stand in your power and they attack you, you’ll realize while you cowered, why you stood by, why you stepped aside, because it was easier in the moment to give in, to give up, to let go.

But as you become stronger you realize you didn’t make it easier for you, you made it harder for you to live authentically in your own truth, to who you are, to fit in, to blend, to make nice, to be accepted.

And as you move from lost to found you realize, too, that it’s never late to be who you were born to be. As you stand in your truth, stop cleaning up what’s not yours to clean up, stop taking responsibility for what’s not yours to take on, stop carrying other people’s baggage, opinion and bullshit, you will realize that who doesn’t stay is giving you a gift.

They are showing you they want a version of you that doesn’t exist. And you are done changing yourself to be what they needed instead of who you needed.

As they leave your life and you make space, you find you, you become you, you be you and get to play, meet yourself, redefine yourself, own yourself. And one day, the right people will show up. People who don’t ask you to change, don’t ask you to clean up, take on what’s not yours, people who will hold your bags when you’re too tired, who will help you find the best version of yourself when you forget and get lost again.

When we are willing to unbind ourselves from the false life we’re all taught to lead – when we unpack, unfurl, unfuck ourselves- we find the best version of ourselves underneath the baggage, the bullshit, the noise.

And that version has a light in her soul, a wildness in her heart, a fire in her belly, a knowing twinkle in her eye and a smirk on her face that will refuse to get into a box for anyone.

She is wild woman. And through her deepest pain she finds her deepest passion. Through her biggest vulnerability she unbecomes what she was never so she can become the wildest, boldest, most powerful version of herself.

I know.

I’ve done it. And I guide other wild women through it.

You think the fire will burn you. It won’t. It will only burn away what isn’t right, what isn’t real, what isn’t meant for you. Because as long as you’re being, doing, living a life that isn’t meant for you, as long as you’re pretending, coping, getting by, making nice, you can never find the life that’s meant for you…

And I know you miss it. Even though you’ve never had it. You know in your soul that something else is waiting… there is more to this magnificant life that you’ve not yet lived because you were waiting… for approval, permission…

I once longed for a place that I wasn’t sure was real but it hurt in my soul I wanted to find it so badly. And one day I did. And my life was never the same, as I unpacked the person I wasn’t, so I could become the woman I was.

And the same destiny awaits you, wild one, when you look around and realize you’re not happy, there’s more to life, there is a heartbeat and pulse inside you, a longing for more, to feel, to live, to know, to thrive…

So unbind yourself.

I promise you, nothing you will go through will be harder than living a life that’s not yours and waking up at the end of it with regret…

The greatest tragedy is not dying, it is dying while still being alive. Unbind and live fully, in your full power. You deserve it.

Tonya

XOXO

PS… my first book is coming out. The pre-launch and early release is happening in July 2019. Public launch isn’t until Feb 2020. I have 40 copies left for grabs – you can get yours here -> https://www.wildsoulwomen.com/unchainedbook

PPS… wanna vibe on unbinding your soul? Get in touch -> https://www.wildsoulwomen.com/contact

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Unbinding Your Wild Soul

  1. Sara says:

    This was great. Just what I needed to read while prepping for a life changing procedure. Thanks for sending this along, tonya 🙂

    Like

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