New Beginning Or False Start?

The energy flowing into the New Year was palpable. Everyone felt it. 2020 – the year of clarity, vision, purpose – this is going to MY year, everyone declared.

Then January came. And with it came energy waves, snow storms (especially if you’re in Newfoundland, and if you’re not, look it up!), false starts, and serious ungrounding of energy, plans, goals…

Frankly, it felt quite shitty. It’s like “universe, what ARE you doing?” This year, we’re gonna do it. You know, all the things we’ve been preparing for. They’re coming, we talked about this… ok, was that only MY conversation while feeling like January was kicking the living crap out of me?

I digress.

I wondered if I had it all wrong? Would this year be another year of struggling toward my dreams? Maybe if dreams are this hard, are they really the right ones? I asked all the questions in seeking an answer, then I took to my pen, which is where I tap into my most powerful wisdom, after the woods, of course.

And it came to me, that 2020 IS an incredible year, as they all are. However, our human trained brains in a world that has not left room for the human spirit, has been measuring our success by check marks on checklists instead of on fulfillment, living a life of passion… we are looking at what we did and not how we felt. We are seeking validation in the accumulation of goals, numbers and tangible things. We are not measuring our success by how many incredible conversations we had but the dollars in our bank account.

We are not measuring how many people we served and served well but we are measuring the number on the scale. We are measuring the quality of our lives by the IG standard of comparison, how many likes we got, how many comments we got, how many books we sold or didn’t sell, how busy we are, how much we make, how many letters and certificates we have behind our name, how many of this and how much of that…

And we are not measuring our sense of compassion, fulfillment, or how much joy we have in our lives.

2020 is not off to a false start. It’s a forced new beginning of seeing how we’re still dragging the old paradigms of success and meausring our lives with us. 2020 is demanding surrender, full surrender to a new way of operating. The world has been heating up, literally and figuratively, as we are finding new foundations in a world that showing us the levels of darkness within it’s walls.

The world is tired of harbouring the secrets and it’s purging the earth of the things that has been publicly denied to exist… the racism, the abuse, the destruction, the greed, the corruption. It’s made our world, and therefore, it’s people, sick in the holding and hiding of these secrets. The me too movement, the black lives matter movement, to name a few have shone a light on a darkness that we needed to see and fight. We cannot fight what we cannot see. The wars, genocides, the destruction of the planet, the hate is as equally matched with goodness, heroism, bravery. In every instance, there are people willing to speak, willing to rise, willing to fight back against the very paradigms that been holding the world hostage in fear.

It’s been a rough number of years as the world has been purging this. 2020 felt like love and light and yet has careened into existence with a purge that hasn’t been felt for a long time.


Because we cannot continue to move forward and build the life we are all wanting to build while carrying the old ways with us. We cannot talk the talk, we must walk the walk. We cannot wear masks, play pretend, hide. We cannot carry hate, judgement, fakeness with us into our future. We cannot carry the measuring sticks we have been using. We cannot half live in the dreams we want to create while living in the world that’s been accepted and tolerated.

We cannot live out of alignment, talking one thing and doing another and reach our dreams and goals. We cannot live in force and push any longer. The world is demanding a new way and we have to lean into flow, allowing, acceptance, letting go, surrendering.

These are the hardest concepts for our brains that have been conditioned to force, hustle, grind, to work ourselves into an early grave. The world now is asking for a connection back to our greatest power, to the earth, to the wisdom of the world, to a more aligned living – we cannot eat tortured animals and not reap the consequences. We cannot work in soul sucking careers and not reap the consequences.

2020 is still set to be an incredible year. The energy is still shifting. But it’s asking us to rise, to really step up into our own greatness and power, to shake off the old, to step fully into the new and to do this, it’s showing us all of what cannot come with us.

2020 is not a false start, it’s preparing us for a great new beginning if we really want one, an opportunity to cleanse and purge all that we can’t take with us, all that doesn’t work in the life we want.

Somehow, we think we can change when we get everything we want, but it’s not how it works, we have to create the change, then we get what we want. We cannot drag it all with us, behaviours, beliefs, experiences, ways of thinking, emotions that do not the support the life we want.

You cannot get there while doing and believing and acting the ways you have. I know, I’ve tried! Several times.

So if 2020 has felt like it’s kicking the shit out of you… ask yourself what are you holding onto, what are you dragging with you, what do you want and what are you doing that’s not supporting where you want to go?

Then ask yourself what you need to let go of, what do you need to leave in the past so you can move to where you want to be.

Then watch your energy shift and your outer world follow. That’s how we create new beginnings. Create space for those things you want, or they cannot come to you. Let go of what holds you back, or it cannot be filled with things you really want. Surrender to what is, stand in your power, and be a part of the new ways being birthed into the world. Understand that all change is hard and messy but glorious when completed.

Stay Wild,



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