Honouring Endings

We hold on. Ok, I hold on. While in one sense I have prided myself on being able to act when I know the truth, the truth is, getting to the truth is the hardest part.

In some cultures, they burn all of a deceased persons belongings with them when they die. In my culture, people hang onto everything. And I mean everything.

And yet everything carries energy. So the things we hold onto hold the energy of what they were. Whether they were good or bad, can often prevent us from moving forward in the ways we need to create the life we want to live.

2020 is a portal. It’s an opportunity. An invitation. For more. For us. For what doesn’t fit and needs to be released. For awakening. For power. For in power. For empowered.

It’s an invitation for a rebirth.

And in all births we must first be destroyed. And 2020 is the destruction we know we needed but have resisted. Collectively, when we “build” a dream into reality it’s because enough people are focusing on the same thing.

In the recent decade, enough people have been focusing on the same things, with the power of social media, thoughts, beliefs, opinions and ideas spreading like wildfire.

Not all of it good.

But seeing it for what it is, we can see the uprising of the revolution that’s upon us. And it’s a revolution. I have been saying for years that we are facing of a revolution. And we need one.

Humanity is lost. What we have created doesn’t work. The Achuar Chief of the Ecuadorian Tribe has been saying for several decades that the world needs a new dream. That the “north” (North America) is lost.

And if we’re honest, we are.

When we step away from the mainstream world, we can easily see it, how fucked up it’s all gotten. We are not human beings anymore. We are humans doing. Doing. And Doing. And Doing.

We came here to live. Not to exist. And yet, the life and world we’ve created allows us to merely exist while craving living. The eyes are the window to the soul and there are a lot of smiling faces plastered over social media but the light doesn’t enter the eyes.

The human spirit has been snuffed out, bogged down under trauma, emotional baggage, the struggle to make it and survive.

The human spirit doesn’t thrive in darkness or greed or jealously or concrete jungles or hate. The human spirit doesn’t thrive in Monday to Friday, craving the weekends. It doesn’t thrive in one week off a year. It doesn’t thrive in noise and busyness.

It thrives in community, connection, nature. It thrives in the slowing down, in the warrior in training, in the reverence of it all. It thrives sitting at the fire. It thrives in a too long bath. It thrives in a slow start. It thrives in an unexpected win. It thrives in the beauty of a flower and a first kiss.

It thrives in a slow fucking. It thrives in a crystalline lake. It thrives in a sports game. It thrives in the fast line.

It thrives where we laugh, love, live.

It thrives when we are at our best.

And to be at our best we need to learn to move on, to let go, to embrace the change, to dive head first, to take the chances, to risk it all.

To be at our best we need to let go of what isn’t us, what never was us. We need to embrace the truth, the beauty and the pain of it all.

When we face it, we can see it for it is and what it isn’t. For too many of us, we cannot honour endings. We cannot see when something is over and has run it’s course.

We hold onto people, places, things, jobs, beliefs, the past. We drag it with us everywhere we go. Sometimes we know, there is a definitive moment when it’s over but we don’t honour it. We forge ahead anyway. Staying long after we should have left.

We bring people with us when they should have been left in the past. We carry wounds into new relationships and jobs and we hold onto our pain as if it’s our birthright.

And in the holding on we miss the chances for the new beginning. If we do not create the space for it, it cannot come to us.

If we do not close the door, a new one can’t open. If we don’t let go of the baggage we carry, we cannot fly.

All endings are just new beginnings. And if 2020 has taught us anything so far it’s that nothing is guarenteed, nothing is forever, and nothing is certain.

And we embark on a new future we can try to rebuild the old, hold onto the old, carry the old with us. And it will get heavy and hard to walk. And at some point we have a choice to make, to let go and fly or hold on and stay stuck.

2020 for me was a year of letting go. I had no idea I was holding onto as much as I was. Jobs. People. Clothes. My old gym. I mean there it was. All looking at me when I was forced to stay home.

A good healthy purge of letting go opened up so much space. And in that space I became increasingly aware of more stuff that wasn’t meant for me that I carried still.

From behaviour to beliefs to business.

I had a choice.

Stay and hang on.

Or take a leap of faith and let go.

I chose letting go.

Because here’s on thing I’m certain of… in this life… when we create space we can feel see know what’s out of alignment for us.

And in that space it’s hard to hold onto what’s wrong.

And I believe that’s why we stay so busy and carry so much stuff.

Because once we start letting go it’s easier to do so. And in the letting go we are afraid of what it means about us, when we say no to things we’ve said yes to for years.

When we have to let people down.

When we have to disappoint people.

But I believe it’s better to let people down and disappoint people now than it is to wake up in 20 years and realized you’ve lived the wrong life because you felt bad.

Who will feel bad then?

And when we don’t let go for the wrong reasons, we just hold ourselves, and others, back.

To move forward and claim what’s meant for us, we have to let go of what’s not. The only way to find out what’s coming for you is to make the space for it to come.


PS… dedicated to the Tribe. Our online community of wild souls and free spirits that’s been around in some shape or form since 2014. It has been a privilege to serve you. As we close this door, I know more powerful beginnings are here for all us.

PPS… if you like the reading – get the book -> https://www.wildsoul.ca/unchainedbook

2 thoughts on “Honouring Endings

  1. Jackie says:

    Dear Tonya – thank you for being you and for always saying what needs to be said. This is the most beautiful piece of your work I have read. It’s truth! You changed my life my friend and I am so blessed to have walked part of my journey with you by my side. Sending light and love to you as you close this chapter. I can only imagine what comes next. Thank you 🙏


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