Creation Story

The Wild started from a breakdown that led to a breakthrough, a knowing in my soul that I just couldn’t live “this way” anymore…working all the time, caught on the hamster that we’re told will make us happy.

I was silencing myself, stuffing everything down, living a lie.  I was running from my past, wearing masks because I thought the real me was broken and fucked up.  I was exhausted from filtering my life, my decisions, my choices through what everyone else thought.  I was tired of feeling unsupported.

I was fed up with being there for everyone else and no one there for me.  I was tired of being everything to everyone and nothing to myself.  I was tired of proving myself.

I wanted to know myself.

And so began the journey to the wildest parts of my soul, of taking care of me, of fighting back, of saying no, of walking away from what no longer served me and walking into what felt good.

Facing what came up as I sat in quiet… unpacking the box of darkness in which I had stuffed every single thing I had never dealt with… dealing with all the reasons I felt I had prove myself, why I never felt good enough, why I always felt like I was wrong, why I had the never ending feeling of shame, guilt, not enoughness and overwhelming need to be busy, doing and like I didn’t deserve anything good.

I was tired. And fed up.

So I did me. I knew there had to be more to life. And I wanted to find it.  And find it, I did. The journey took me around the world but ultimately I found me, inside of me.

Life is meant to be lived, not merely survived.  We are not here to work ourselves into oblivion, to work our way through a checklist that guarantees our happiness only to find out it doesn’t. We’re not here with a purpose, a passion, a dream to just wake up in ground hog day for 70 years and call it a life.

We’re here to live, fully, to breathe, to know each other, to know what it feels like to feel the pulse of the entire world, to feel the earth, to feel another soul entwined with yours.

We’re here to know who we are. Profoundly.  To feel our power, to feel what we’re capable of, to feel the connection to ourselves and everything that is.

We are powerful.  We are wild.  We are free.  The only reason you don’t feel that is because of all the things, thoughts, experiences, beliefs and stuff you’ve been stuffing down, all the stories you keep telling yourself about why you can’t, you’re not good enough.

Because you know what, you are.  You are powerful.  You are amazing. You are capable.  You are enough.  I know it.  Because I found it inside of me and I know it’s inside of you, too.

You just have to be brave enough to go all in, to step off the ledge, to dive deep, to get out of the shallow end and swim in the dark waters of your soul, clear away the mud and find the brightest, most powerful version of you.

If I can.

You can, too.

Mad Love Wild One.

Tonya

PS… if you’re a wild one- check out my tribe here -> Tribe, Unchained.

Advertisements